Put some clothes on that drink! Specifically, a custom can coolerBrrrr. It's really chilly in here. I know you like to keep the temperature low for me. I get it. But dang, son — I'm nearly naked! I'm just a lowly beer can, and my friends and I, well, we're just kind of embarrassed. I mean, even the sticks of butter are wrapped in gold paper get-ups. Sure, the Kraft Singles' outfits are see-through, but still. We, your favorite six-pack, would like to petition for some custom koozies from Pinnacle Promotions.
We've heard good things about the Kan-Tastic Kan Kooler from Pinnacle Promotions (yeah, we all talk when we're bored at the liquor store. There are only so many times we can listen to the jokes from LaCroix). They're custom can koozies that keep drinks cool, and they come in more than 21 vibrant colors. They're great for outdoor events and have a large imprint area, so you can put your company's name or logo on them. Then whenever someone slips a beer or a soda or some other canned beverage inside the custom koozies, they'll spread the word about your business. And we don't have to go to neighbor Dan's barbecue in the nude! It's a win-win, really.
Or I suppose if you want to be sort of European about it, we could go for the Koozie 3D Coaster Kooler, which covers up our lower halves. These custom can koozies fit most standard red cups, cans and longnecks, and work as a coaster, to keep that new coffee table of yours ring-free.
The bottles have an idea: They'd like to try on the Bottle Coolie custom koozies, which are made of scuba foam and have a zipper up the front, kind of like the jumpsuits on those ladies in "Cannonball Run." (Yeah, we watched that with you. We'd have changed the channel but we have no arms or hands!) They'd also go for the Hat Trick Can Cooler Kit custom koozies, which come with a loop on the side for storing a bottle opener. (So long as those custom koozies don't make the bottles look fat. They're very vain.)
I also wanted to let you know that some of the cans in this fridge are talking about organizing. Not just in a nice pile or stack, but inside the Neoprene 6-Pack Kantastic personalized can cooler. It allows you to carry six cans at once inside an insulated tube that you can sling over your shoulder. There's easy zippered access, and you can personalize it. It's a great gift or giveaway for your employees and customers. Or so we've heard.
The craft beers have a request too. They want you to get them the Deluxe Collapsible Koozie Kooler, which has a tough but light leather-like exterior (those craft beers are fancy like that) and are perfect for ultra-fine detailed printing.
I'm hoping you've listened to our concerns and will respond accordingly. You want your drink to stay cold and we want to not be naked. So let's get us some personalized can coolers, shall we? Then everybody's happy.