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Branded corporate gifts and promotional thank-you presents Gather round, children. I have a story to tell you. The story of a man who gave the most wonderful promotional gifts. No, I do not mean Santa Claus. This is a different story. Now please stop picking your nose. Here we go:
'Twas the night before the corporate holiday party, when all through the cubes
Not a creature was working, not even the rubes (it's not nice to call the interns that, but they did)
The employees were bored and feeling no love
Their boss gave them no gifts, not even a glove
The workers were bummed and wished they were in bed
While visions of custom gift boxes and promotional gift cards danced in their heads
And John in his button-down, and Jane in her cap (bad hair day)
Were thinking about taking a well-earned nap
When out in the lobby there arose such a clatter
They sprang from their desks to see what was the matter
Away to hallway (there are no windows) they flew like a flash
Even Evan, you know, that IT guy with the rash
When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a dude carrying custom cutting boards, promotional money clips, and personalized mugs for beer!
That little old guy, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment that it must be Nick. (That's his first name. Shh, please. Stop punching your brother.)
More rapid than eagles the packages came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, custom candles! Now, personalized blankets! Now, ice scrapers and mittens!
On promotional stress balls, and custom wine sets, and customized ornaments, and calendars with kittens!
To this office, to this place divided by cubicle wall,
I've got branded corporate gifts for you all!"
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Handing out promotional gifts from Pinnacle Promotions (pausing only to twerk)
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, down the elevator he goes.
He sprang to his minivan, to the employees gave a whistle
And away he drove off like the down of a thistle (What does that mean? I don't know. Just let me finish this story.)
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
Corporate promotional gifts for you all, and to all a good night!