Custom picture frames and promotional photo frames“Hey, bro. How was your weekend? Did you see the game? Wanna see a picture of my girlfriend?”
It’s always a bit awkward when Gene tries to make small talk at work. You’re walking past his cubicle, minding your own business, and then suddenly he pops up and tries to draw you into a conversation. It’s like he has a tractor beam, and he’s pulling you aboard his spaceship against your will.
“Hey, Gene. Yeah, weekend was good. Game was good.”
You try to walk on, but he persists. “Wanna see a picture of my girlfriend?” He holds up a picture frame with a glamour shot of a beautiful woman. The focus is soft, and her hair is the color of cornsilk, her teeth an impossible white. You feel like maybe you’ve seen her before. In a catalogue? Or on QVC? Or … is that the picture that came with the frame? You hope not. That’s almost too pathetic to contemplate.
“She lives in Canada,” Gene announces.
And you almost want to cry, because that is just so sad. Only imaginary girlfriends live in Canada. Poor Gene. You try to change the subject. “That frame doesn’t do her justice,” you say. “Have you heard about the custom frames from Pinnacle Promotions? They have the best promotional picture frames around. There’s the frameless promotional picture frame, the aluminum photo frame, and the Leed’s Metropolitan Acrylic Frame. Print your company name or logo on one of these customized frames, and you’ll market your business and your brand every time you show off a photo.”
Gene looks puzzled. “Her name is Candy.”
But you soldier on, and the words tumble out. You just want Gene to stop talking about his pretend girlfriend. Other co-workers won’t be so kind. “Customized picture frames are a great giveaway or corporate gift,” you say, “sure to impress your clients and employees.”
“Candy is a professional ballerina, and a model,” Gene says. “And she’s also the heiress to the Slinky fortune. Oh, and she loves watching me play video games. She wants to get married, but I’m like, ‘um, no, I’m not ready to be tied down.’”
Gene kisses the photograph in his picture frame, then asks: “Didn’t your girlfriend just dump you?”
You can’t take any more. You’re bursting. This guy has got to get real. “Gene, I—,” you stammer, trying to stop yourself from calling him on his nonsense. And then someone taps you on the shoulder. You turn.
“Hi,” the beautiful woman says. “I’m Candy, Gene’s girlfriend. Visiting from Winnipeg. Gene, sweetheart, are you ready to go get some lunch?”