Personalized glass awards and custom acrylic awardsOh my goodness. I wasn't expecting this. I mean, yes, I was nominated for this promotional award. And yes, I do have my speech written here on the paper I happened to have brought with me. But oh, this is so unexpected! And gosh, this award has some heft! Leave it to you guys to pick out the highest-quality promotional awards around.
I'd like to thank Pinnacle Promotions for custom-printing this beautiful promotional award. You like me, you really like me! And really, it's about dang time you let me know. Because jeez, I'm been toiling in obscurity for so long, watching as others received customized crystal and glass awards, sports awards, and awards made from wood, acrylic, ribbon, and marble. Every year I've crossed my fingers and toes, made a sacrifice to the dark gods (sorry, baby goat), and still have gone unheralded. I've dreamed of the day I could hoist over my head an Effervescence Paperweight award, an art glass apple that showcases an effervescence effect of a bubble on the inside. At night I've wished on a star for my very own Americana Dedication Plaque with Black Glass, or a promotional Oh-Mega Award, made of charcoal slate on an ebony stone base and accented with random-sanded aluminum.
And yet...nothing. The silence has been deafening — until now! Now your approval roars in my ears! I feel as if I'm now unstoppable. That I could win anything, like a customized Gilded Silver Clock or a Durham Footed Bowl Tennis Trophy, even though I don't play tennis. I don't need to! I can win that award without ever stepping on the court because I am amazing! Give me that crystal Flair Bowl Trophy. I'll even take your kids' horse show ribbons. You can't stop me!
A-hem. Did it just get warmer in here? Of course I was kidding. I would never take an award from a child. I would win it. Just by sheer will and innate talent. I think I could probably use mental telepathy or the Force to get my own customized Grande Egg Award. That multi-color, intricate art glass egg on a base would look amazing with my dress.
Really, this means so much to me. I'm not going to pretend that I'm going to put this promotional award in my bathroom, like some superstars do. They're liars! They'd wear it around their necks if it weren't so heavy!
So now I'd like to thank...wait, is that the orchestra? Are you playing me off? You dare to play me off the stage? Don't you know who I am! I am a promotional award winner! Alright, alright — you don't have to manhandle me, for goodness' sake. My customized award and I are leaving now.